In the last seven years I have opened up more and more to being guided by a Power greater than myself. Clearing out my conscious mind, then led me to connect to my subconscious mind to gain even more clarity. I was at my wits end 7 years ago, I just wanted to stop hating myself! I was living a tortured life of complete disempowerment to choose what I ingested. I never imagined that I would be blessed with the miraculous changes that have occurred in my life!
I realize that much of my self-medication and numbing was to shut out the deeper truth of who I Am. Who we all are! I grew up in a secular family in Silicon Valley at the beginning of our present day technical revolution. I love science and math. I question everything. I want to analyze and obsess over cold hard facts. And yet, this is not the truth of reality. The reality I was taught in school is being expounded upon daily, as the tip of the iceberg of truth…which I suppose is why I love hypnotherapy! It too allows you to dig deeper into your own truth, rather than leaving you with the simple view of only what you can experience with your five senses. Quantum physics also gives me that deeper truth and helps quantify for my limited human understanding some of what I have been experiencing my whole life.
It started at an early age. A certain knowing. Perhaps more like a BS-meter. In grade school, they said Columbus discovered America…and so I raised my little hand to ask how you can “discover” something when it’s already there? “Why? Why? Why?”, came out of my mouth incessantly. “But what about… “, was another favorite expression. I constantly question the narrative not only that I was taught but also of what I experienced with my five senses. Yet many times, this constant questioning become tiresome, even to myself! If I drank or got stoned, I didn’t care about the questions so much…or at least I didn’t remember that I cared.
And who wouldn’t question, when continuously experiencing things that seemed impossible to experience? It is only now, 7 years after putting down alcohol & drugs and allowing my brain to return to its natural unadulterated state, that I am able to begin to access some of the experiences I have regularly. So then, what are these things that I used to deny so badly? In early recovery, I would call them serendipities, synchronistic timings. Then I began to view them as miracles in my life, gifts from my Higher Power. Now I can recognize that they are just abilities we all possess when we open our hearts & minds and listen. We are being guided. We have a story to live. We have a choice on how we will live it, but we are all given road signs along the path of life!
A year ago, as my house was almost completely built, I moved in. The builders continued to finish up the last details for about another month or so. Shortly thereafter my wanderlust began to bubble up. I had completed my big project and now I needed something new & exciting to set my sights on! My boyfriend and I began planning what we needed to do to begin traveling the world the following year. Just to understand the timetable…that would mean, right about now. We had hoped to really travel beginning in September of this year, 2020. I am a master manifester and when I set my intention, I know it is only a matter of time before it will come to fruition! Yet with this travel idea I kept coming up against resistance.
Many times in the past, when I have journaled I would experience the feeling that the words shifted from being my own, to being a message from my Higher Power. Also, while meditating I would receive messages. An inner knowing, some words of wisdom or direct response to something I had prayed about…so as I am setting this intention, I keep receiving the message that I am meant to sit still for the next 2 to 3 years. I assumed this was something personal to me! That I needed to practice laying a deeper foundation, since this is not one of my strong suits and therefore I personally needed to stay in one place for an extended period of time. I had already been in my “home town” of Mal Pais, Costa Rica for 2 years. I had lived in my previous town for 4 years. So I added the two up and figured I needed to stay where I was for at least as long as where I had gotten sober.
I tried so many variations on the “travel” bug. Various “obstacles” kept popping up so that I didn’t plan to actually be away. Then we hit March of 2020…the supposed year of clarity of vision. We are all getting a clear vision alright! We hit March and Costa Rica closes it’s borders. I still had high hopes that perhaps I could take an extended trip for December & January, during our peak tourist season. It’s two months later and borders are still closed. Not only in Costa Rica but in many countries all around the world…WTF???
So now I realize, not all messages I receive are only for me. I was beginning to receive information that travel was not going to be a possibility, almost a year ago. These messages are clearer and clearer for me now. As ! question and doubt them less and less, they come through even stronger. They come in with even more direct information about the state of our world. I acknowledge now that I am channeling from a higher plane, information about our existence on this planet. What would have been considered new age woowoo just 20 years ago, is more and more mainstream as channelers and mediums share on an even wider scale the messages they are receiving. I am coming to accept that this is part of who I am too.
MY message to you, is that this is not some special or unique talent only some of us are born with. This is an innate ability and skill that anyone can cultivate! I have found that hypnotherapy has opened me up to hearing these messages more clearly. With this most recent realization…that I was given a glimpse into what was to come…I have set a new intention. My intention now is to share what messages I receive, free from fear of ridicule or self-doubt. I do this to uplift myself and others as we open more and more to the possibilities that all that our five senses experience are only a fraction of what we can experience while here on earth, now. This realization could have never been possible if I was still drinking and getting stoned. So I am most grateful that the greatest message I have received on a personal level from my Higher Powers was to get my drunk & high ass into the rooms of AA & NA! Gracias Diosa!!! Gracias for 7 beautiful years!