Today is Day 66 of I Choose Me, a practice I have done several times now since getting sober over 8 years ago. Each time I have huge revelations. I commit to 90 days of choosing myself first. If you are like me, putting yourself first may seem self indulgent and selfish but what I have realized each time I do this, it means I show up as my best self for myself and others!
When I first started this 90 days, I was actually writing, “I Chose Me” for the first few weeks. It must have been a subconscious attempt to get me to meditate on a deeper truth…this past tense of making a choice….eventually had me contemplating an idea I have always loosely held. Namely, that prior to my arrival on the earth at this point and time, a greater version of myself made a choice to show up as “Me”. Now I have done my best to analyze and figure out what that mechanism is and I could write an entire book on all of my hypothesis but needless to say, I have given up on solving the true nature of reality and have allowed myself the beautiful gift of the Unknown!
Yet, writing I Chose Me, led me to blossom in my gratitude for the being I have shown up as. To open up to an acceptance that Who I am, as Jen, this small human vessel with all of her personality traits, life stories, patterns and experiences is More Than Enough! I am playing my own perfect role as imperfectly as possible so I can inJoy what it means to be the human everyone calls, Jen.
So I realized my subconscious “auto-correct” typo, contemplated it deeply and moved forward to make the daily Choice to continue to show up for me first. This process of revelations that come whenever I have committed and consistently followed through on choosing me, has been amazing for my personal growth.
When I began this 66 days ago, my main focus was on my eating and exercise habits. I decided to quit consuming any sugar including breads & pastas. I was also doing at least 15 minutes of exercise every day. After two weeks, feeling more balanced in my body the focus naturally began to shift. Just the act of writing those words at the top of my journal each morning before doing a quick brain dump, had me focused on my own needs more and more.
I quickly realized that it is easier for me to focus on everyone else’s needs then to take care of myself. An old family pattern popped up that says,
“I believe you only love me if you will go out of your way, sacrificing yourself, to meet my needs without me even needing to ask you!”
and vice versus….I will spend countless amounts of time and energy anticipating Your needs and taking care of them to show you how much I love you.
This new subconscious belief that “me” taking care of “me”, as an act of self love, rather than selfishness and “you” taking care of “you” is healthy. Rather than being enmeshed with each other will feel validated in who I am and feel that “love” is present.
Pretty big realization!!! Of course, I was doing some self hypnosis and listening to recordings that facilitated this type of awareness but it was this practice of sitting every morning and re-commiting to Choosing Me, that even created space for that to appear.
Now that this realization is in my conscious mind what do I do with it?
It also goes along with this daily “I Choose ME!”
I have to re-commit on a daily basis to focus on meeting my needs and to let others take care of meeting their own needs. This may sound simple but for someone who used to be an overly responsible, Type A, people pleaser this is a continued journey. I have been doing additional self hypnosis…which in my world, as a hypnotherapist, this means I take myself through an entire session.
I am happy to say that through this experience, I have recognized that I need to make a concerted effort to grow my own Hypnotherapy business, rather than putting all of my energy and time into growing someone else’s company. I am also happy to say it is getting easier and easier to directly ask for my needs to be met, to meet my own needs first rather than waiting for others to magically intuit what I want and do it for me AND I am meeting my own needs regularly NOW…in just a few months!
If you are interested in meeting your own needs to, reach out to me for private one on one hypnotherapy sessions! And I’ll let you know even more about what I am doing to meet my own needs daily.
Now you see it, now you don’t! Do you ever get a flash in your peripheral view and image you saw something that wasn’t there? Has someone ever pointed out a bird up in a tree, and as you squint in the direction they are pointing you think, they must be crazy, I don’t see anything! You can’t believe everything you see, the magician reminds us. Optical illusions are a plenty in the artistry around us.
We have so many way of seeing the world, we each have our own perspective. Do you remember hanging upside down on the monkey bar in your grade school play ground and imagining the world had been turned around and the sky was now on the ground? Life is like that. We can shift our perspective and suddenly life has a completely different view. If we can have different views of our own life, how many view can exist in the world…at least as many as there are people.
Everyone has their own view of how they see the world. This view is based on life experience. Just go to a museum and you will see how each person will be appreciating different pieces or the same piece in a different way. Two people may be standing side by side admiring the same work of art and yet, each sees something completely different. Our lives are works of art. So why shouldn’t we admire our own work of art as being a beautiful creation?
Do you trust the view you have of your life? Or do you accept other critics reviews of your work of art? Maybe you have family and friends who see your life as amazing because you are successful at a job that you feel robs your soul. Perhaps your life experience is the complete opposite. You have a relationship that you cherish but those around you wish you would run away from because they don’t believe that other person is “right for you”.
When viewing your life do you keep your lens focused on a view that makes you feel good or do you keep getting distracted by the things that others point out to you? When you close your eyes and take a moment to really see your life from your own point of view, you can begin to trust what you see. You can begin trusting your lens. Trusting that your view of you life is true. Knowing the it is perfectly ok for you to trust what you see.
Each of us can respect our view of life and allow others the same respect. When we respect different perspective, the world is a richer place to live in. We can still listen to what others see but we can practice trusting our own view of our life. Awareness is the first step to change. If we have been listening to the point of view of others for most of our lives, it may take some time before we can even begin to see from our own perspective.
This is why it is so important to go inside. To close our eyes and connect in to our mind’s eye. Our mind’s eye sees beyond what others tell us we should see. Our mind’s eyes sees beyond what we think we should see. Our mind’s eye has the uncanny ability to show us our truth. With practice we can begin to trust this truth more and more. We can begin to trust our own view of how our life is unfolding and where we would like to go. We can begin to trust ourselves.
Open your eyes to your truth, to trusting that is perfect and right for you to have your own perspective. Your perspective is valid. Only you know the amazing possibilities you can see for yourself. Trust those! Enjoy the view of your life, it is the only one that counts!
If you enjoyed watching this video and you’d like to go deeper into Trusting Your Truth, then I’ve got a free downloadable recording for you. Just add your name & email and download it now.
What do these messages all have in common? Really expressing what you are feeling is not acceptable. How many people, when asked how they are, would respond…actually I’m feeling a little confused right now. I’m slightly irritated yet also hopeful all at the same time…how about you?
Let alone, if you asked them how are you and they burst out crying. So even in the face of a huge loss in our life, even during a huge positive transition…most people will put s small smile on their face and reply, “I’m good.” or some other equally benign reply.
What happens when we have been trained since infancy to keep a lid on our emotions? To keep our feelings to ourselves? We begin to lose touch with our feelings? We confuse sadness and grief or even fear with anger. We confuse lust and attraction with love. We confuse excitement with anxiousness.And this is at best…most of the time we keep ourselves so distracted through social media, by the constant go, go, go of modern living that we don’t even know what we are feeling.
We have stopped feeling in the whirlwind of busy.
We don’t even allow ourselves to feel our exhaustion as we crash into bed at the end of the night. So how are you supposed to trust your feelings when you don’t even know what they are? That is the power behind hypnotherapy. It cuts right to the chase and connects with your subconscious mind. Your subconscious is where your feelings are stored. Your body communicates what it is feelings through your subconscious.
All you need to do is relax, connect in and your feelings will reveal themselves. Remember your feelings are nothing to avoid. They are there to give you an important message. When you listen to your feelings, when you trust your feelings, you can hear the message they want to communicate. So many times, we just need to listen to ourselves. Listen to your feelings and allow them to pass. You can trust them.
The more you practice listening to your feelings the easier it becomes to understand the message they have for you. Just like a trusted friend that you appreciate listening to you, when you need to talk, so too your feelings appreciate when you listen. Knowing that the are there to give you an important message that you can trust.
You don’t have to go around sharing your deepest feelings with everyone you meet but you can begin to share them with your inner most self.
First and foremost, I am not a doctor but I feel like I have studied extensively all there is about anxiety. I tried everything to feel calm and reclaim my life and nothing did the trick so quickly or so easily, as hypnotherapy did!
I got clean and sober about 4 years ago. I took away the thing that I believed alleviated a lot of my anxiety. It really just made it so I didn’t care how I felt… because I wasn’t Feeling anything. If I had a feeling, I knew how to take care of that! Just drink some more or smoke a lil more weed. Then I forgot I even had a feeling, including the deep feelings of anxiousness I couldn’t even acknowledge I had. As soon as I put the alcohol and drugs down all of my feelings came flooding back. The one that became the most debilitating for me to deal with on a daily basis was feelings of anxiety.
If I had to leave the house….when I would leave the house…I did so much just to get myself out the door. I regulated what day and time I would leave, when I expected the least amount of people and traffic out. Where I lived allowed me to ride my bike. I didn’t have to deal with the feelings of anxiety around driving. What if I got in an accident? How much gas was I wasting? Would I get a parking spot?
If I began riding my bicycle into the center of town and there were too many people, I would turn back around and go home. Even when going to the grocery store, I would turn back around and go home. It didn’t matter that I had waited until I had absolutely NO edible food in my house because I didn’t want to leave until I HAD to! I would return home, without food, to a home with no food in it.
I wanted to avoid the feelings of anxiousness I would feel trying to walk into a grocery store with so many other people in it. Not to mention the feelings of overwhelm from the bright lights, the amount of choices or the possibility of running in to someone I knew and having to try and make small talk. I Hate small talk!
Fast forward a year, dealing with this all to the best of my ability. I used different defense techniques. I would go out into the world when I felt the safest. I avoided people and situations that triggered these feelings of anxiety, as much as possible. Many times I would agree to go to dinner with friends and have to leave the restaurant before we could even order because I felt so anxious and overwhelmed.
I don’t want to recount all of this to trigger anxious feelings in you, but only to let you know, I know what it feels like…I’ve been there too!
Occasionally I have that feeling still. The biggest difference today is that I have tools that help me. Those old feelings no longer limit me in my life, in any way! And for that I am eternally grateful!!!
Ok…back to a year or more into sobriety, when I am coping as best I can, I began working with a traditional psychiatrist. We aren’t working specifically on my feelings of anxiety but more about improving my life. Eventually, I change my diet. I add even more exercise to my life, because I am naturally an overly active person. My mind is overly active so my body needed to be overly active as well. It helped to release some of the constant thoughts that were swirling around in my mind. Being active also eased some of the constant worry about what would happen in the future.
You know they say depression is reliving the past and anxiety is living in the future and I was an expert at living in both. Living in the present was not even on my radar, let alone something I was able to practice. I don’t know about you but my mind was too full of 1,000 thoughts bouncing around to even notice that there was a present.
I could be talking to you, all the while I was wondering if I had left all the lights on and how high the electric bill was going to be. I could do this with a smile on my face, appearing completely engaged in our conversation. You would never know I was a bundle of nerves and anxiety had you looked at me. Does this sound familiar?
Sooooo….I tried all these natural solutions. Changing what I ate, getting more exercise, meditating…which really meant sitting for 5 to 10 minutes trying to not get up because of one more thing I had to take care of. Still the anxiousness kept me from enjoying life. Under the suggestion of my psychiatrist, I began taking medication. It was a little combo for depression and social anxiety. Depression was my underlying symptom because I really loved living in the past…but low and behold…this thing that I had been denying I even had a problem with, began to clear up.
I no longer felt like running away if there were more than 2 other people in a restaurant. If there was a short line at the check out stand in the grocery store, I could actually wait in it to buy my food. This is how strong my denial had been and how much I had convinced myself that this low level feeling of anxiousness that permeated my entire being must be normal. Isn’t this what everyone experiences living in our fast paced society now a days?
Well apparently it isn’t…or at least it doesn’t have to be! You too can feel at peace in the world. You too can feel calm, even when uncomfortable stuff is swirling all around you. AND you can do it without being on medication for depression, or anxiety or anything else. But I’ll get to that in a bit.
So, I stayed on the medication for about 4 months. I felt better. I felt that all my brain chemistry had gotten the boost of serotonin it needed. I discussed it with my psychiatrist and we decided I could go back on them again later if I needed to.
The depression was gone, the anxiety was relieved for many situations. I continued with life thinking it had gotten as good as it was going to get. I still had to leave the restaurant sometimes. I still could only visit with friends every once in awhile and preferred to be by myself most of the time…but life felt manageable. Until a new solution presented itself.
My friend did an online summit for depression and I joined up, even though I was feeling pretty good at the time. Again, I like to study something until I am blue in the face. It’s probably that active mind of mine. The internet makes it so easy to participate from the safety and comfort of my own home, so why not?
As part of this summit I was introduced to hypnotherapy. I had little to no idea what hypnotherapy was. About 10 years earlier a friend had done some hypnotherapy with me and it had been a cool experience. But it was nothing life changing, like what I’m about to share with you now! Even if you have had some experience before, don’t give up without viewing it through a new lens! I mean, you could have the life you have always wanted…one where you can go and do whatever you want, with whomever you want…without being blocked by the fear that anxiety will take over and things will be ruined.
All I had to do was listen to some hypnotherapy recordings each day and I just naturally began to think differently, to feel differently and then eventually to act differently. It happened so naturally and so easily and effortlessly I barely even noticed the changes.
I might not have noticed the changes but those around me did!
In situations where previously everyone had to walk on egg-shells just to avoid triggering me in some way, I was happily participating. I no longer had to sit off in a corner, protecting myself as though some disaster was about to befall me. I was in the mix, laughing, having fun with everyone else!
You have no idea how freeing it felt!
Well maybe you do…I hope you do!
And if you don’t…I really hope you will soon!
I could leave my house whenever I felt like it. I could go to dinner in a crowded, noisy restaurant and either not even notice or breath through any uncomfortable feelings that might have begun to simmer. Even more exciting is it gave me the confidence and the desire to share hypnotherapy with other people. So many people I know feel anxious on a regular basis and I wanted to give them hope that there is a solution that really works.
Hypnotherapy worked so effectively for me, I decided to study and become a hypnotherapist just so I could share the amazing transformation I experienced…with you! We deserve to live our best lives! We deserve to live a calm, peaceful life doing what we want, when we want, with whomever we want. Don’t allow anxiety to run your life any longer. CloseYourEyesGetFree with hypnotherapy today!
If you are also interested in studying to become a IACT Certified Hypnotherapist, the Grace Method Hypnotherapy School is opening it’s doors to new students soon. Check it out!
How often does something seem to good to be true and so you just pass it up?
Later a friend talks about that exact same new restaurant or offer or technique and raves!
Most people that deal with feelings of anxiety aren’t going to jump at the latest and greatest…unless maybe, it will help them feel less anxious. I mean what have you got to lose, right?
So here you are trying some thing called hypnotherapy. And its nothing like that weird stage show that your cousin told you he went to last summer in Vegas. As a matter of fact, it almost seems to good to be true.
Really??? Just by listening to a soothing recording on a regular basis… this “Thing” that has been running your life forever, might lessen or perhaps even disappear.
Ok….so you may still be skeptical and I don’t blame you.
How Does it Work?
And why after 1,000 affirmations in the mirror, is this going to finally make the change.
When we do affirmations, we are typically trying to trick ourselves into believing them.
We are having a conversation with our conscious mind. The conscious is that analytical part of our mind that sees everything as linear and logical. It is looking to judge and compartmentalize what it experiences.
That’s why saying affirmations in the mirror as we are putting on our makeup to run out the door to work, already feeling anxious about the thought of speaking at our Monday morning meeting…isn’t going to stick!
But, as soon as we take even just one deep breath and allow our parasympathetic nervous system to calm down a bit, we have the opportunity to connect in to our subconscious. Connecting to our subconscious bypasses the critical factor of the conscious mind. Allowing those same affirmations to go deep to change our pre-programmed beliefs, thoughts and habits.
Isn’t that awesome?
Just by bypassing our fight or flight response, we can easily and effortlessly make the changes we have been trying to make for years.
Now where does all of this play into feeling anxious?
Oh, Those Learned Behaviors!
We learned this behavior, typically as young children. It’s also hard wired into us with our instinctual fight or flight response, like I just mentioned. Sometimes we needed this behavior
You just want to enjoy a night out to dinner with friends, without having to psyche yourself up, just to make it through the meal. Unfortunately for your adult self, this technique that used to keep you safe, now keeps you from living your best life.
Are you tired of the struggle? Are you tired of trying to manage those anxious feelings? Are you tired of feeling exhausted doing every day things, like having a conversation with a family member, because you are so triggered?
Now that’s another piece of the puzzle!
Those every day triggers that get the heart rate racing when you just think of having to do them.
Those little things you avoid so you don’t add any additional anxiousness to your typical level of anxiety. We all have triggers, that once again, were typically ingrained in our subconscious in childhood. Most of our programming was completed by the time we were 7 years old, after all.
It’s no wonder it is so difficult to change those thoughts, beliefs and habits…no matter how many self-help books, psychologists sessions or retreats we’ve gone on. We were trying to change them by interacting with our conscious mind, when they are actually stored in the subconscious. That is why hypnotherapy is so effective.
In hypnotherapy you connect directly to the subconscious. And that’s what this series of videos is doing.
Relaxing for even just a few breaths and then connecting those affirmations to your subconscious beliefs, makes the change.
Upgrade Your Operating System
It’s like you have been trying to upgrade your computer operating system by running a Facebook app update. You have to get to the root of the matter by upgrading the correct level of software.
Now this doesn’t mean that updating your Facebook app isn’t useful. It gives you all kinds of new features that feel like they are giving you what you need. But once again, it begins loading soooo slowly, you can barely upload your photo album.
That’s because your operating system needs an upgrade too! This is the behind the scenes stuff. Once you complete the OS upgrade, your entire system is running so much more smoothly. You might even wonder what took you so long to look into it?
So, here are some subconscious OS patches. These are short videos that will begin to transform some of your old held thoughts, beliefs and habits. I even have a Free Download that gives you a really nice enhancement to your subconscious OS…and it’s ok to start there.
If you recognize how much you benefit from these new tools, then you can reach out to me and see about a full upgrade with my private sessions. It’s important to really wait until you are ready….because just like a complete upgrade of your computers operating system…you are going to have to change the way you typically do some things.
I Transformed My Social Anxiety with Hypnotherapy
I know for me, when my social anxiety was transformed…I didn’t know what to do with myself. I didn’t have to spend so much mental anguish trying to come up with excuses about why I couldn’t make it to girls night out! Not to mention, feeling bad and increasing my feelings of anxiousness because I was sure everyone thought I was a flake or just didn’t want to be around them.
I spent a lot of time and energy living with feelings of anxiety. There was some adjustment, when I could just say “YES, I would love to go to dinner”, Go and easily enjoy myself! You’ve got to really be ready to process all of that.
It may sound funny…but as you know…even good things in our life can cause us to feel anxious.
Hypnotherapy is a tool to connect you to your inner knowing and allow it to suggest the transformation that you are ready for now. What are you ready to transform today?
Personally, my subconscious, inner-knowing reminds me that I am capable of being a clear and conscious channel of love for myself and Everyone I interact with.
I heal no one-no one needs to heal. We are all perfect exactly as we are in each moment AND we can be ready for the next lesson that brings a deeper awareness and consciousness to our daily life. We are the beautifully malleable clay that can be molded into a new form.
Moving through each moment in this awareness and consciousness we can bring a sense of peace, love, acceptance and enjoyment to that moment.
We remove the striving and can effortlessly BE in each moment, trusting that the next moment will also present itself perfectly. This gives us an opportunity to practice being aware and conscious…and if we aren’t…thats ok too! We will still receive the lesson we need to help lead us back to that awareness in this moment.
The same as a runner training for a marathon, we can train our minds to find joy being present in the moment. Feeling the aliveness of the here and now.
Hypnotherapy is like having a personal trainer that will motivate you to keep up with your daily routine. In that way my subconscious mind motivates me to stay present, conscious and aware.