It is good for me to clarify and communicate my desires and needs. Everyone else can feel however they want about those needs. No one has to support my needs, but me. No one else needs to agree or validate my needs , but me. I am responsible for communicating and meeting my own needs.
Selfishness is an Outdated Belief
I can Choose to meet the needs of others AND when I do so out of a feeling of giving and being of service everyone wins. I meet the needs of others because in some way, it also meets one of my own needs~ such as love, consideration of others, tolerance, being of service, or giving unconditionally.
When I try and care for the needs of others, or society and its norms in a way that doesn’t overlap with my own needs, this is when I move into resentment, victimhood, martyrdom, giving conditionally through manipulation, people pleasing, guilt and disempowerment. We have been taught the belief that to care for our own needs, let alone communicate them, is selfish. Selfishness is an outdated belief meant to keep us searching outside ourselves for our well being.
The overlapping portion is where we really feel most fulfilled. This is when we are honestly and deeply connecting to another. The energy flow is equanimous. We are both getting our needs met! The more we give, in this space, the more positivity flows back to us. We feel full. We feel whole. We are giving from a space of surplus because we are already naturally caring for our own needs.
Personal Responsibility Empowers Us All
We are taking responsibility for our Own life. We no longer, either expect others to fill us up nor do we look to them to validate our needs. Our needs, wants and desires are our own. No one has the same exact combination. Not even twins raised in the same household want exactly the same thing.
We really are more like unique snowflakes when examined by a microscope. From the macro view, humans are operating from a similar base of needs. The combination of circumstances & how those base needs are met are different permutations for each and every one of us.
And isn’t that a beautiful thing! We aren’t and don’t have to be exactly the same. As soon as we can accept this reality and stop expecting everyone to be just like us, we can accept personal responsibility for our life. We may then communicate and meet our own needs with the ability to give from a space of overflow.