Now you see it, now you don’t!

Now you see it, now you don’t! Do you ever get a flash in your peripheral view and image you saw something that wasn’t there? Has someone ever pointed out a bird up in a tree, and as you squint in the direction they are pointing you think, they must be crazy, I don’t see anything! You can’t believe everything you see, the magician reminds us. Optical illusions are a plenty in the artistry around us.

We have so many way of seeing the world, we each have our own perspective. Do you remember hanging upside down on the monkey bar in your grade school play ground and imagining the world had been turned around and the sky was now on the ground? Life is like that. We can shift our perspective and suddenly life has a completely different view. If we can have different views of our own life, how many view can exist in the world…at least as many as there are people.

Everyone has their own view of how they see the world. This view is based on life experience. Just go to a museum and you will see how each person will be appreciating different pieces or the same piece in a different way. Two people may be standing side by side admiring the same work of art and yet, each sees something completely different. Our lives are works of art. So why shouldn’t we admire our own work of art as being a beautiful creation?

Do you trust the view you have of your life? Or do you accept other critics reviews of your work of art? Maybe you have family and friends who see your life as amazing because you are successful at a job that you feel robs your soul. Perhaps your life experience is the complete opposite. You have a relationship that you cherish but those around you wish you would run away from because they don’t believe that other person is “right for you”.

When viewing your life do you keep your lens focused on a view that makes you feel good or do you keep getting distracted by the things that others point out to you? When you close your eyes and take a moment to really see your life from your own point of view, you can begin to trust what you see. You can begin trusting your lens. Trusting that your view of you life is true. Knowing the it is perfectly ok for you to trust what you see.

Each of us can respect our view of life and allow others the same respect. When we respect different perspective, the world is a richer place to live in. We can still listen to what others see but we can practice trusting our own view of our life. Awareness is the first step to change. If we have been listening to the point of view of others for most of our lives, it may take some time before we can even begin to see from our own perspective.

This is why it is so important to go inside. To close our eyes and connect in to our mind’s eye. Our mind’s eye sees beyond what others tell us we should see. Our mind’s eyes sees beyond what we think we should see. Our mind’s eye has the uncanny ability to show us our truth. With practice we can begin to trust this truth more and more. We can begin to trust our own view of how our life is unfolding and where we would like to go. We can begin to trust ourselves.

Open your eyes to your truth, to trusting that is perfect and right for you to have your own perspective. Your perspective is valid. Only you know the amazing possibilities you can see for yourself. Trust those! Enjoy the view of your life, it is the only one that counts!

If you enjoyed watching this video and you’d like to go deeper into Trusting Your Truth, then I’ve got a free downloadable recording for you. Just add your name & email and download it now.

Then when you are really ready to live your authentic life, trusting your truth, reach out for a one on one sessions with me. 

I look forward to supporting you in living your best life.

So much love, Jen

Can You Trust Your Feelings when “Big girls don’t cry”?

Big girls don’t cry…

Boy don’t cry…

How are you? I’m fine.

What do these messages all have in common? Really expressing what you are feeling is not acceptable. How many people, when asked how they are, would respond…actually I’m feeling a little confused right now. I’m slightly irritated yet also hopeful all at the same time…how about you?

Let alone, if you asked them how are you and they burst out crying. So even in the face of a huge loss in our life, even during a huge positive transition…most people will put s small smile on their face and reply, “I’m good.” or some other equally benign reply.

What happens when we have been trained since infancy to keep a lid on our emotions? To keep our feelings to ourselves? We begin to lose touch with our feelings? We confuse sadness and grief or even fear with anger. We confuse lust and attraction with love. We confuse excitement with anxiousness. And this is at best…most of the time we keep ourselves so distracted through social media, by the constant go, go, go of modern living that we don’t even know what we are feeling.

We have stopped feeling in the whirlwind of busy.

We don’t even allow ourselves to feel our exhaustion as we crash into bed at the end of the night. So how are you supposed to trust your feelings when you don’t even know what they are? That is the power behind hypnotherapy. It cuts right to the chase and connects with your subconscious mind. Your subconscious is where your feelings are stored. Your body communicates what it is feelings through your subconscious.

All you need to do is relax, connect in and your feelings will reveal themselves. Remember your feelings are nothing to avoid. They are there to give you an important message. When you listen to your feelings, when you trust your feelings, you can hear the message they want to communicate. So many times, we just need to listen to ourselves. Listen to your feelings and allow them to pass. You can trust them.

The more you practice listening to your feelings the easier it becomes to understand the message they have for you. Just like a trusted friend that you appreciate listening to you, when you need to talk, so too your feelings appreciate when you listen. Knowing that the are there to give you an important message that you can trust.

You don’t have to go around sharing your deepest feelings with everyone you meet but you can begin to share them with your inner most self.

If you liked this video and you’d like to go deeper into Trusting Your Truth, enjoy a free downloadable recording. 

Then when you are really ready to live your authentic life, trusting your truth, reach out for one on one sessions. 

I look forward to supporting you in living your best life.

So much love, Jen

Empowered Partnering

Women like to band together and when a girlfriend feels slighted by a man we tend to want to demonize him and make him the bad guy. On the surface this seems as though we are supporting our sister, taking her side and showing solidarity. In actuality we are perpetuating her victimhood by saying that she is not responsible or capable of deciding how she is willing to be treated, that she is not capable of setting healthy boundaries. She gives her power to the man she is in a relationship with, he is in control of her happiness, her feelings and how she is treated. This disempowers the woman from taking a look at her own behaviors and patterns.Releasing the Bad boy

I have friends who fall into various patterns with the men they get involved, I have also played each of these roles at different times in my life. For some, we wind up always paying for things or always cooking and cleaning. Some choose men who are typically inconsiderate, he doesn’t call when he says he will or doesn’t return home when he says he will be home. Some friends go right for the bad boy, he can be verbally and even physically abusive and again we only focus on what He said to us or did to us.

Then of course, my personal favorite is the unavailable man. He is either physically or emotionally unavailable in some way. He lives in a different city, state or even country. Even if we are in close proximity he is emotionally unavailable to make a commitment, whether it be the inability to communicate with me with any emotional depth or he is too busy with work, his friends or uncoupling from a past relationship. I have continued to engage in these relationships sometimes for years. I am given just enough line on the teaser with delicious, shiny bait and I keep swimming back trying to get that bite…yet he always stays one step out in front of me. There is always another reason why he can’t commit.

And I can stay in that story…I know he wants me, I know he will change, he does this too me…or I can empower myself, help empower my friends and say…you are the only constant in your story, maybe it is time we women change. We have the capability to decide how we are going to be treated. We have the ability to not pull out our wallets when it is time to pay. We can allow the dishes to pile in the sink and to sit watching TV with the family when it is dinner time. When the question is asked, “What are we having for dinner?”, to answer in center and with true inquisitiveness, “I don’t know, what do you feel like making?”

We can walk away when we are being treated unkindly, even cruelly. As a woman who has had only a small regular income for several years and who has been a single mother supporting the men I am with, we can support ourselves ladies. We do not die of loneliness…even when we feel like we might. We can reach out to friends for help. We are capable and responsible for our own lives and that includes leaving an abusive situation.

For my own journey, as I have come to believe in myself, respect myself and love myself, I am learning to take care of myself. That doesn’t just mean I take a bubble bath and get my nails done…that means that when I have a need I want someone else to fulfill, I give it to myself. I connect into the Divine and ask for assistance. If I desire affection, then I give myself a big hug and I do take that bath. If I desire an adventure I go out and do it on my own or invite a friend to go with me. If I desire a good meal, I cook it.

As I take care of myself I am learning what I am capable of and what I am responsible for, I am responsible for my own happiness. No one else can give that to me or take it away from me. This is practice because I am ready for that equal partnership. In the past I didn’t want something equal, I needed to be More. I needed to be smarter or make more money or be older so then I could be in control. Some women choose to use the opposite technique, playing the damsel in distress, Needing the man to make decisions for then, protect them, pay for them. In both cases we are living in insecurity and a lack of self love. We are not claiming our own power and we are not allowing our partner to claim theirs either. When we are taking care of our own needs, we will be attracted to a partner who also cares for their needs. In this dance an equal partnership is born.

Tango of LifeI am ready to be a partner in the tango of life. I am ready for a man that can lead me with a gentle yet direct touch. The dancers that lead most effectively to produce the most graceful and elegant dances are the ones who remember that their female partner is doing every single step they are doing but backwards and in heels. What a level of strength, courage and vulnerability she must have in order to trust him so deeply. This is the partnership I am capable of today. This is the partnership I am ready for and open to.

All of my partners up to this point have been preparing me for my equal. Some partners couldn’t lead and so I would take over the dance, some partners would lead with a heavy hand, flinging me across the floor. An equal partner understands that good lines must be maintained, the space created between the dancers allows the magic to flow between them. Each must hold their own stance, move individually and fluidly for the art to be fully expressed through them.

The art of Love is one of the most worthy and noble of Creative Expressions as we Dance through this thing called Life.

Ramblings on Growth

How do we know we have grown? There isn’t a chart on our wall, that shows how much taller we have gotten, like when we were kids. There is no one looking at us saying, “Well look how much you’ve grown.” We know through our actions, through the small decisions we make on a daily basis. We know when we look ourselves in the mirror and we can look directly into our own eyes. We know when we talk to others and we can look them in their eyes. When our small self denials and fabricated stories begin to disappear and we make conscious choices, even when we know that they aren’t the healthiest choices we can make. We take responsibility for our own feelings, actions and choices AND we feel empowered. Even when we do something that hurts, we know that the hurt was worth the growth.

Tamescal_sandy_splitsThis illusion that we, somehow turn 18 years old and are all grown up kept me struggling and judging myself for more years than I care to admit. I am just now beginning to comprehend that Growing Up doesn’t exist. The best I can hope for is that something that happened to me today, will help me to grow ever so slightly for tomorrow. I am making different choices and able to be patient enough to sit in the Unknown. This can be a scary place at times. I am leaning in to the unknown, trusting that something beyond my wildest dreams is possible if I make a choice today to grow a little bit.

At times I want to plant a seed one night and climb Jack’s beanstalk the next morning but this human path is rarely like that.  Perseverance, doing the next right thing, in this moment is my best chance to look back on my life and know that I allowed myself the opportunity to experience abundance. Every experience has been an opportunity and some of my best opportunities have come with pain. Like the snake slithering out of its old skin, I too slough off the old behaviors that kept me from the blessings that I now know today. There is no regret, since I can only know what I want and deserve for today by living and growing from the experiences of the past. I am grateful to do something different today and to be open to what possibilities that might flower.